Almost 34 years ago, I gave birth to my first born...all 8lbs, 91/2 oz of her! Before she ever entered this world she had a mind of her own. She was almost two weeks overdue and I was in labor for two days....AFTER being induced! She was stubborn and wanted to make her appearance on her own terms!
THIS MONTH THAT BABY IS GETTING MARRIED!
She has become a successful, thoughtful, mature young woman and yes....she still has a mind of her own...AND I'M GLAD SHE DOES! She has experienced some horrible events in her young life and she has come through them with grace and confidence. I AM SO PROUD OF HER!
There's nothing quite like a mother/daughter relationship. All of this wedding planning has made me reflect on my relationship with my own mother. How I miss her and would love for her to share in this special time with us. It has also caused me to contemplate the changing roles in our relationship. Just as I grew more independent from my mother, I know this will happen with my own daughter....it already has! It's the way it's SUPPOSED to be....but oh, "Woe Is Me!" Fortunately, it's a gradual process. It actually began when SHE decided at nine months old that it was time to stop breastfeeding. Then when she started walking...and again when she walked right into that schoolroom without even a glance back at me! (Excited to leave the nest even then!) When she went all the way to the College of Charleston....and after the first year decided NYC was where she needed to be! She has always been independent, energetic, determined....and has only become more so through the years.
The wedding planning itself is a passage of releasing control. A little girl dreams of her wedding....a mom has those dreams for her daughter as well.....and many times they aren't the same. (The veil for instance....I want her to wear one, but she does not!) There are many examples of this in the planning process....but the most important thing is that the bride's vision is realized and the relationship remains intact!
If you've had a daughter get married....or you've been that daughter yourself...I hope your conclusion is the same as mine......in spite of a few woe's....it's a wonderful, exciting time!
I wish my daughter and new son-in-law much happiness together in the years to come. And as our relationship continues to change...one thing NEVER will.....our LOVE for each other!